Twenty years later, I still find myself thinking of you
And I wonder
What would it be like if we were to meet today for the first time
I am older, perhaps even wiser
And I realize that in my youth
You were more a thing than a person
Yet I did love you in the only way I knew how
I gave you my attention
Unable to give my heart and soul
You have not heard the song I wrote for you
I haven't sung it in probably ten years
I can't help feeling that
At the end of my life
You will be there
A fairy tale ending - closure.
Of all that haunts me in my daily life
Yours are the only memories worth savoring.
I have been apologizing forever,
Apologize now and always
For all the stupid things I did
And hope only that you, too,
Find a few memories of me
Worth recollection.
____________________
from my journal, dated 8/23/96
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