Thursday, June 03, 2004

Vortex

As introduction to this poem, I wrote:
The next poem is a cycle with no beginning and no end. The point at which it starts is not random, however. This is the point where it is noticed that something beautiful has been lost, or more correctly, is slipping away.

I do not believe that it, this beauty, ever really slips away. Our inner selves convince us,however, that it has. I shan't go into that here, though.
To prove that [the poem] cycles, go back to the start when you reach the end. Do not pause. It should appear to be like a flattened glove or sphere; like you see in some maps of the world.

This was sort-of inspired by "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance." But, nonetheless, it came from within me. To set the record straight, it is not drug-induced or -related.

. . . Quality is failing me
where once I was sailing free
locked in a world of windows
I cannot feel from where the wind blows
And can only hear their rattling pane
only watch the advancing rain
aware that the senses lie
gazing cautiously with a questioning eye

I look to the future, in my past
hoping the past in my future doesn't last,
from my platform - a speck of the present,
a way-station to rest where rest isn't.
I won't say I'm lost, perhaps a bit tired
of fighting through the space in which I'm mired.

Fleeting moments of insanity
as control breaks down and loses me
asking why too many times.
Reading what between the lines?
To my back, a black cloud creeps
somewhere ahead, a faint light seeps.

As my physical funtion sleeps
my frient soft and gently weeps
only for himself, I am sure
for we are separated by this glass door.
With mere sight as comunication,
we will not share in revelation.
Nor will we share in inspiration
but only share reitteration.
And taste a foul degradation.

The signal breaks. I lose the station
Once more nakedly alone
sinking like a weighted stone.
temptations tugging at my laces,
I turn to stare into their faces.
A cold, electric shock strikes out.
With the blow, I scream and shout,
"Release me, cut the bands, release me."
Where will the missing, dented piece by?

On my knees, blindly crawling
Stand ye up, now, cease your stalling.
I heave my chest to catch my breath
It's much too cold, I'll catch my death.
Strong arms wrap me in a blanketm
gone before there's time to thank it.
The ceiling's high, the floor is low.
How I'm suspended, I do not know.

It suddenly occurs to me:
I'm not suspended but sailing free
throughout a vast and open place
no windows, nor ceilings, only space.
All else is nothing but illusion
a manifested, vile intrusion.
Distractionless, I plainly see
existence of pure quality.
And for a second I beleive
that I will never have to leave.
But images reform the maze
my vision melts into the haze . . . (return to start)

from Confusion: a finer distinction
by Michael R. Martin c.1979

This poem was inspired by my reading of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig, who wrote:

"Quality, or its absence, doesn't reside in either the subject or the object . . . (At) the moment of pure quality, there is no subject and there is no object."
"Quality isn't something you lay on top of subjects and objects . . . Real quality must be the source of the subjects and objects. . . "

To Nancy Cray
March 20, 1979

There are times I've called myself a poet
Probably unjustifiably so
But as long as I've gotten your attention
There's one thing I'd like to know

I think I'm feeling what I shouldn't
It seems that I've got designs on you
You seem to me a most beautiful person
I'm hoping that you'll tell me what to do

There are times when I haven't been sure of myself
I concealed that fact most carefully
But this once I'm breaking down to tell you
You determine what this friendship grows to be

I think it's a feeling I'd be best to hide
for the eyebrows raised would be more than a few
But I've just got to tell you, for I do believe,
if someone understands, it will be you.

from Confusion: a finer distinction
by Michael R. Martin c.1979

Where's it at?

She came in and she sat
then she asked, "Where's it at?"
I said "The world in which we live
is all relative."

"But I don't know," said she,
"just, where, exactly I should be."

"I think you'll do your best
if you let some time progress.
But don't do it passively
for there is lots to do and see."

from On Tap
by Michael R. Martin c.1978

At the Well

"You are dirt," she yelled with a heathen cry.
"You are dirt," she yelled and then spit in His eye.
"I put my faith in you but it turned out a lie."
You are dirt," she said . . . then He let out a sigh.

"You put your faith in me," He said, "It's true."
"But what on eart did you want me to do?
"I've given you life, your world, and you.
"Look around you. Is there more I can give you, too?"

"Think of loving, of laughter, and of deep, blue skies.
"Look around, then tell me that they were all lies.
"I've given you everything, make your own ties.
"Look around you and within you and you'll realize."

"I am sorry," she said, and she let out a sigh.
"I am sorry," she said, and she wiped off His eye.
"I put my faith in you, but I was living a lie.
"I am sorry," she said, and she started to cry.

And in the shadow of the world above
We must spread the source of love.


from The Secret Lives of Fibber McGee
by Michael R. Martin c.1978

Defiance

I'm messed up in the barbwire of your soul
And though I'll come out scratched, I'll come out whole.

from The Secret Lives of Fibber McGee
by Michael R. Martin c.1978

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Own a Fly

OWN A FLY:

Carefree,
clean,
maintenance free.

Eating molecular spots of food
which you can not see.

No need to walk it
(they don't walk much).

It won't make noise
(they're quiet as such).

-SEND RIGHT AWAY-
-ORDER YOURS TODAY-
-LIMITED SUPPLY-

-OWN A FLY-


from The Secret Lives of Fibber McGee
by Michael R. Martin c.1978

Intelligence

A vision: swooping, graceful, upwards into infinity . . .
An edge of confidence, barely defined . . .
A convergence, into one corridor, of all past experiences . . .
A window into the future, diverging into every conceivable and inconceivable direction . . .
An unsatisfiable thirst for knowledge . . .
A mind: thinking, knowing no boundary . . .
A universe.

from The Secret Lives of Fibber McGee
by Michael R. Martin c.1978

The Dungeons of Depression

The air hangs heavy
in the dungeons of depression
it casts a might weight
upon your soul.
Life passes by
in the dungeons of depression
each day inside its walls
brings a heavy toll.

I know what its like here
in the dungeons of depression
I've been cast here for
a length of time unknown.
The last time I laughed is
a million years gone by
and the voice inside my head
is not my own.

from Confusion: a finer distinction
by Michael R. Martin c.1976

Moss

A mattress,
wet with the moisture
of a September day,
struggling to remain green
but losing the battle
on several fronts.

Total defeat
by the frosts of October.
But its ideals live on
for the coming
of the spring thaw;
for the day
when it will return
in all its glory.

from On Tap
by Michael R. Martin c.1978

Inanimation

The brick building,
as the tree,
knows no time,
but stands quiet testimony
that patience achieves
its own glory.

from On Tap
by Michael R. Martin c.1978

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Thirteen Years
September 22, 2003

Thirteen years is a long time, is a short time.

In thirteen years (plus a few before),
we’ve shared an apartment in Lansdale,
bought an old house in Perkasie, fixed it up,
spent a frozen winter in an Adirondack cabin,
cozied up in a small apartment in Bloomingdale,
moved into a run-down camp in Harrietstown,
fixed it up and made it a home.

In thirteen years,
we’ve shared in amazement our first experiences
as expectant parents, and then new parents.
We’ve rejoiced in the birth of a healthy baby girl
and did our best to give her the best in life and parents.
We’ve rejoiced in the birth of a healthy baby boy
and did our best to give him the best in life and parents.
We have watched our two grow, from diapers to kindergarten,
from kindergarten to fifth and seventh grade,
from rattles and stacking blocks to cross-country running, basketball,
baseball and hockey.

In thirteen years,
we’ve been together and sometimes apart,
sometimes near and sometimes far,
sometimes close and sometimes distant.

Thirteen years.
It hasn’t been a perfect ride, but I think
we’ve loved more than we’ve fought,
comforted more than we’ve aggravated each other,
and couldn’t have done any of it at all without each other.

Happy anniversary.
Love, Michael.
September 22, 2003

Mom . . .

When the world has made me crazy,
you are calm,
When my life has lost direction,
you are inspiration.

You are comfort when I’m ill
A companion when I’m well
A voice I can rely on
A shoulder I can cry on

I owe you everything – just for being Mom.