S

Situation: sluggish, sanguine.

Locus: languid, lucent.

Position: impassive, petulant, pensive.

Is it out there?

Is there a better life, a better love out there?
Or do we just trade one set of quirks for an unknown set?
Surely there must exist a partner with positives that outweigh the quirks,
& whose quirks are not intolerable negatives.

Am I a lovable, misunderstood soul
or just a miserable, selfish bastard?

Hey, I write poeœtry & talk of feelings!
Isn't THAT worth something?

If we can't find it in here,
will we ever find it out there?

minus 5 outside

Cold, late night.
My nose is cold & getting colder.
Tucked the tip into my fist,
but it's not getting any warmer.

O° outside, maybe minus 5,
good to be indoors.
I may be awake
but at least I am alive.

Monday, December 06 (1:22 AM EST)Currently - MOSTLY CLEAR Temp: -5

Books I am reading

Books worth mentioning I have read or am reading - Parenthetical "reviews" are simply MY humble opinions.

I am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe (groovy, but not for the young)

From Altoids to Zima: The Surprising Stories Behind 125 Brand Names by Evan Morris (somewhat interesting but a bit short for the $)

Shoeless Joe by W.P. Kinsella (still great - If you build it, they will come - So Much better than the movie)

The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren (potentially powerful in your life)

Darwin's Radio & Darwin's Children by GREG BEAR (captivating Sci-fi)

Parasite Rex: Inside the Bizarre World of Nature's Most Dangerous Creatures by Carl Zimmer (WOW - a must read! It'll change your perception of life & evolution)

Swamp Gas Times: My Two Decades on the UFO Beat by Patrick Huyghe (a little lame, not much meat, nothing new here)

The U. P. Trail, The Rainbow Trail, & Riders of the Purple Sage by Zane Grey (classic old westerns - read them in period)

Advertising for Results by G.F. Brown (hard to get into)

365 Meditations for Couples by Sally D. Sharpe, Editor (so-so)

How to Become a Rainmaker: The Rules for Getting and Keeping Clients" by Jeffrey J. Fox (rules to work by - not much new but good reminder)

How to Make Big Bucks in Your Own Small Business: Unexpected Rules Every Small Business Owner Needs to Know by Jeffrey J. Fox (see other Fox review above)

The 9/11 Commission Report by Thomas H. Kean et al. (interesting start, turns dry)

Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Neez More Shoes: The Ultimate Guide to the Opposite Sex by Allan & Barbara Pease (not so hot & quite sexist - why proprogate old stereotypes?!)

The Procrastinator's Handbook

stuff from a book I am reading. . .

"You may be living an extremely busy life, but do you realize it takes less
than two minutes to hang up your clothes or toss them in the clothes
hamper?"

"Are you constantly shuffling through piles of paper on your desk? You
probably spend more time shuffling each day than it would take you to sort
through the papers once and for all— filing, processing, tossing out, or
recycling."

The Procrastinator's Handbook: Mastering the Art of Doing It Now, Rita
Emmett, Walker & Co., NY

Life

Life,
is an endlessly changing target;

Peace,
the scent of bayberry during the holidays;

Love,
the child who calls you father;

and Home,
the refuge where life & peace & love might flourish.

Pain in the neck, resolved?

If you read any of my headache poems, you'll know I suffer from chronic headache and migraine. A neurologist suggests occipital neuralgia, which in restrospect is pretty much what I described in "its all in my head," as the source of chronic pain. Its something that might not turn up in your average search for headache pain, and something your regular doctor might not even suggest.

If "its all in my head" describes you, check out the following:

• http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/occipitalneuralgia/occipitalneuralgia.htm
  
• http://www.postgradmed.com/issues/2004/09_04/ashkenazi.htm
• http://facial-neuralgia.org/conditions/occiptal.html
  

November along the Saranac

The Saranac River:
running water deepest blue sparkling like crystal in the winter sun,
carving lazy curves along icebound shores of evergreen
and dark grey trees bare silhouettes against sapphire skies,
wending its frozen way toward Lake Champlain.

It's all in my head

Pain, like a rigid, unseen hand
jabbed along my spine and
up under the base of my skull.

Pain, like a thumb pressed deep
into the soft tissue on the side of my neck
as if to interrupt the flow of blood.

Pain, like a ribbon stretched
from the base of my skull to my eye socket
and slowly dragged towards my ear.

Pain, untouched by meds
that leave me sleepless at night
in defiance of the warning labels on the bottles.

But, the good news, so I am told,
is that there is no reason for my pain
and that it is all inside my head.

Alabaster

Pale blue veins
on alabaster flesh
soft warm bosom
comforting breast

we are what we are • 11/6/04

we are

what we are
what we make of ourselves
what others allow us to be
what we allow ourselves to be

do not be confined

by who you think you are
who you were
or who others make you out to be

allow yourself to be amazed

by how others see you
how you are many things
and how you are one with everything.

There are no good byes
that last forever.

Beauty

I know there is beauty out there
but I have given up hope.
And if there's a savior out there
it looks like a short piece of rope.

Clouded by pain
nothing to blame
fills me with shame
forgive me - and forget my name.