Cedar Eden - The Blog

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2011-12-29T18:25:00.000-05:00

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And You Were There

2011-12-16T04:40:00.002-05:00

I had a dream . . . and you were there.

I was driving by myself to Somewhere, Colorado, when I got a bit diverted off the road and then stuck behind cars that were not moving. People were stopping because at a certain spot, they could see some natural wonder.

When I pulled to the spot where folks were stopping, I found myself entering an old cabin. Inside, the cabin was without furniture, except an old, thin bench in front of a fireplace as you entered through the door. An old woman sat on that bench.

Throughout the cabin, along the walls, were large stones that had been carved and painted in three-dimensional tableaus. The old woman, a cabin volunteer, pointed out where to look within the fireplace to see the effect. No one knew who had created it or moved it to that spot.

I walked around the dimly lit cabin. There was something religious about it all. Several people sat on benches against this wall or that. A young man passed around small, woven baskets for donations. He handed one to me. I admired it and then set it down on a bench nearby.

When I had gone all around the cabin, I was standing in an alcove opposite the door, behind the old woman on her bench. There was another large fireplace and chimney, where three young woman in pioneer clothing were singing. And you were there. Somewhere along my walk around the cabin you were walking with me. And, in the alcove, with the singing women, you were there.

I wanted to leave. I turned to you, and said "I have to go." You took my hand and pulled me close into your side so that the middle of my chest was against your left side, and you held my hand, down at your side. You looked at the women as they sang. I looked at you. You were wearing a plain flannel gown, open at the throat. I could feel your warmth, I could smell your hair. It was all I could do to not lean my head in and kiss your neck, nuzzle your ear.

We were standing in front of the old woman as I again said I had to leave. I was toward the door, and you were on the other side of the woman, facing me. Suddenly, it got very dark and there was a loud, frightening rumble, as if the very rocks of the mountain were moving towards us. It happened again, louder, closer. And again. And again. A light over our head shook, and then the sound passed over us, no louder than someone pushing a small, wooden desk across the floor above our heads.

We were outside now. A young boy was throwing a stick in a small fire while his father watched. The fire looked like it could get out of control. The old woman was up and over there, beating out the flames, as if she were 20. That done, she returned to her bench, now on the hillside outside. Clearly, she had adopted this place as her own to look over and protect. She pulled me to her side, onto the bench next to her and softly spoke some words I know were very important. I don't remember what she said, maybe something about life, maybe something about love.

I started to leave, said your name once more, tried to pull you close and kiss you. You held me away. I said something, to which you replied, "This is why we can not be together. Because you are always niggling."

And I said, "I am always niggling because you hold me close, and I am reminded how much I love you. My love, so strong I feel my heart will beat out of my chest. My love, so strong it splits the very rocks of this mountain. And then, you push me away."

And it is true.
I still do. Love you that much.
And I've wrecked more than five years of my life because I don't know what to do with this. Or because there is nothing I can do with this.

As I told you so long ago, on that misty eve, it isn't something that goes away. It is something so powerful it hardly seems real.

And so, you aren't in my life because you can't be in my life.
I don't want to believe you aren't in my life because you don't want to be in my life.

So, where does that leave me?

Northern Lights over Gabriels, NY - Oct 24, 2011

2011-12-12T15:23:00.003-05:00

See more at http://cedareden.smugmug.com/The-Adirondacks/Northern-Lights/

Star Trails - Cedar Eden

2011-12-12T15:20:00.003-05:00

Star Trails - Dec 10-11, 2011 (6.5 hours)

Stars to the east - 2 hour star trail, Dec 1, 2011

Dec 12, 2011 Moon time lapse as it traverses part of the sky

See more at http://cedareden.smugmug.com/The-Adirondacks/Northern-Lights/

Dawn, Cedar Eden, Dec 11, 2011

2011-12-12T15:15:00.002-05:00

See more at http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBDA4C8238CB7E499&feature=plcp

Star Trails - Dec 10-11, 2011 (6.5 hours)

2011-12-12T15:12:00.001-05:00

See more at http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBDA4C8238CB7E499&feature=plcp

Time Lapse of Moon & Clouds, Dusk at Cedar Eden

2011-12-12T15:11:00.001-05:00

See more at http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBDA4C8238CB7E499&feature=plcp

Fall Color Bike Ride

2011-10-10T17:26:00.003-04:00

Went for a motorcycle yesterday and took these pictures. Click on any image to see full-size slideshow at Storie

Scenes from an Adirondack Fall

2011-10-10T17:18:00.000-04:00

Here is an ever-growing slideshow of Adirondack Autumn photographs I've been taking from around the area. Click on any image to jump to the full-size slideshow on the Storie website

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Adirondack Autumn

2011-09-14T03:51:00.001-04:00

The days are pleasant, sunny and cool
Sunset arrives too soon but glorious high altitude/high latitude, deep purple twilight drags on
Each morning the sun rises on mist-filled valleys
Vibrant rays across earthbound clouds of pure white

The meadows take on a golden glow as goldenrod flowers and grasses give up their chlorophyll to the frosty nights
In nearby woods and windbreaks, hints of fall colors begin to appear - a branch here, a tree there
Down in the wet lands, maples are already shading towards red and orange
While the hillsides show a muted tint of yellows and browns

Peak "foliage" comes early to the landscape around Saranac Lake
Locals look forward to the changing tide of color if not the flood of leaf-peepers that with it always wash ashore.
And where ever we gather, we rate this year's colors against those of the past
And lament the rains or the winds that almost always seems to cut the season short.

Moon in Aries

2011-09-14T03:10:00.001-04:00

The moon from full barely waning
'cross the water blows a warm and gentle breeze
But the fire of Aries sets good intentions ablaze
Setting anger alight, bringing love to its knees

For this day cultivate inner freedom
While you quietly set self apart
Celebrate Shakti, sensuality, eternity
Let another day be for conflicts of heart

Summer fading

2011-09-09T14:27:00.001-04:00

(words & music copyright Michael R. Martin) - the sounds of the crickets this time of year always remind me of this song I wrote in late August while at Meadowlark Music Camp. The crickets' song sounds sad to me because it reminds that summer is fading away.

Summer is fading away
Crickets seek their last fling
The stars still shine, and the bats still fly,
but they can't seem to catch anything.

Fat spiders snuggle up close to the eaves
but the grass is still green, collecting dew.
Thinking 'bout life and the passage of time:
dark skies and moonlight and you;
dark skies and midnight and you.

In the shade of an old oak tree
waves lap at the shore.
I've often pondered the spectrum of life
but it don't seem to matter no more.

Fat spiders snuggle up close to the eaves
but the grass is still green, collecting dew.
Thinking 'bout life and the passage of time:
dark skies and moonlight and you;
dark skies and midnight and you.

I never thought it would come.
No I never wished for this day.
Now that it's here, I miss you, my dear.
But I can't think of nothing to say.

Fat spiders snuggle up close to the eaves
but the grass is still green, collecting dew.
Thinking 'bout life and the passage of time:
dark skies and moonlight and you;
dark skies and midnight and you.

Family Reunion; And I Ponder Intersecting Lives

2011-08-21T22:15:00.001-04:00

A recent Martin family reunion, where I saw aunts and uncles and cousins I hadn't seen for 10 years, left me thinking about how we each have our individual lives and how, occasionally, the circles of our lives briefly - and often, barely - overlap the life circles of others.

Our own world whirls about us, madly and gladly, and we are so absorbed within its spirals. And then, for a brief moment, we cross paths with others whose own world whirls madly and gladly about themselves.

I've always thought how strange there are so many lives out there going on without our knowledge. I used to sit on a bank overlooking a highway with my best college buddy and wonder about those lives I'll never know in each passing car.

We each carry our own little world about us. We leave the house, loved ones left behind, and their little worlds go on without us, as ours without them. Children go off to school for the day; and later off to college for a whole semester at a time. And their world is no longer ours, and ours no longer theirs. Except in those moments when our circles overlap.

So strange. So strange.

We are all aliens in our own little bubbles of life in a giant world of alien-filled bubbles.

So strange. So strange.

And the ultimate act of overlap is to take another in your arms, and wrap one another, skin on skin, bubbles completely merged, for those few glorious moments where there is no mine and there is no yours; boundaries dissolve and the two worlds becomes one and infinite, two as one.

And then, breathless and flushed, you slowly tease your circles apart. And life resumes, no longer so alien and alone. For as long as it lasts.

Only, try as you might, no two can maintain a singular bubble of one. And one day, once again, you realize you are alone in your bubble, looking out at the world looking in.

A night spent listening

2011-08-10T05:59:00.001-04:00

Crickets sang all night
And at first light
Joined by thrush & robin song

Wonder I what was being said
While others lay wrapped in dreams, in bed
Until my chance for sleep had gone

The deck, damp of evening's rain
Through steel-grey clouds day dawns again
Such a night of wondrous pondering be judged wrong

Purity of Vision

2011-06-15T12:49:00.001-04:00

I look at the world
And see the beauty of its infinite shades of color
Life and love and the universal connection of it all.

But with that vision comes the ability to see all of the world's darkness as well

But mostly, I see beauty

Jody

2011-06-15T12:05:00.001-04:00

A true friend
For all the long nights we spent talking by the lake
A true friend
For all the long nights silently sitting at the end of the dock
A true friend
For when your heart stopped, I forgot how to breathe

Disconnect

2011-06-10T19:56:00.001-04:00

This disconnect
May be of my own making
But it is not of my own choosing

Alone

2011-06-10T12:09:00.001-04:00

We are all alone in this life:
Alone in birth,
Alone in breath,
Alone in thought,
Alone in death.

The effect of time on love

2011-06-10T01:04:00.001-04:00

As people grow
They grow apart
Time breaks the bond
Of love and heart

Reflecting at Lake Clear Beach

2011-05-30T14:34:00.001-04:00

Wind in the pines and quaking aspens
A steady hiss against the rhythmic lapping of gentle waves
Quiet voices breaking through like wordless notes in a natural scale
A gathering of worshipers of sun and water
Teens on their own, mothers with small children
And one winter-white, tattooed biker

I see that chubby is the new slim
And that's okay, too
So much better than obsessing over figure and fashion

The breeze, not high enough to keep the biting insects away
I am a smorgasbord for black flies and mosquitoes

I reflect upon the years gone by at the beach
As a child on Cape Cod, catching hermit crabs with my baby sister, building little lagoons and sand castles for the little crabs
Gilford Beach with friends and girlfriend
Goffstown State Park after work, single and alone, brief affair with the lovely lifeguard
This very beach with son and daughter, from diapers to teen
And now me, here, alone, contemplating the look & feel of my remaining years

Alone looks pretty good right now

New Rain

2011-05-29T21:04:00.001-04:00

Far off lightning flash, then thunders
The air is filled with fragrant wonders
Grass and blossoms, dampened earth
Each scented breath of priceless worth

Morning, Lake Flower

2011-05-28T08:02:00.001-04:00

Filtered sunlight
Gold of early morn
Reflecting green hillsides on still waters
The town awakens
Traffic sounds occlude the calls of many birds
Red-winged blackbirds, robins and wrens
Singing only for themselves
A loon cries out in flight
Distant outboard heads across the lake
Gentle hum and slapping water heard long before it is seen

A new day
The same as all
Full of promise or full of pain
That choice, alone, is ours to make

Clouds at Dusk

2011-05-18T19:55:00.001-04:00

Pale sky, light blue and peach
Heavy black clouds scraping along the hills around town
Threat of rain that never comes

Spring Rains

2011-05-18T13:55:00.001-04:00

The sky a diffuse brightness that hurts the eyes
Between clouds
Dark, heavy, hanging low
Ready to burst upon the landscape:
Green lawns splashed with waves of yellow
Profusion of dandelions;
The hillsides misty lime green
Leaves still crinkled with newness;
Rivers of black, cold water
Bursting banks to meander across wooded valleys;
Quiet village, shades of pale paint
Winter's damp sand accumulated in all its corners;
Small boy pedals his bike, singing to himself
Weary mother trails behind, walking as if on leaden legs.

Mother with child, defiant, spreads blanket along the water's edge
To sit and gaze upon the grey, rippled surface of a mill pond.

And everything changes if but for a moment of pure sunshine -
The landscape,
The mood,
The energy level of life.

Life's Crap

2011-05-17T09:24:00.001-04:00

It's never as bad as it seemed when you were up to your neck in it

OR

It was as bad as it seemed but not important in the grand scheme of things

(OR

Thank God for selective short-term memory)

A Cloudy Dawn, Birds Singing

2011-05-14T05:32:00.001-04:00

A cloudy day, barely dawns
Robins sing their "rain comes" songs
A Phoebe calls for love. I yawn.
And Sadie sniffs about the lawn.

A lonely morning, I am not singing.
Despite the birds, my ears are ringing
I guess I slept, mid toss & turning
But like the Phoebe, my heart is yearning

Yet spring has come, the air is fresh
I will not keep this mood, I guess
The beauty of the world surrounds
God's hand within my life abounds

We carry on through high and low
What future brings we can not know
Hope and faith that fills our cup
At the bottom one can only look up

Dos Rosas

2011-05-05T10:27:00.001-04:00

Tú corazoñ y el mío
Son como dos rosas en florecer
Una casa ardiente en invierno
Juntos como el batir
De las olas en el orilla

Mi Amor Para Ti

2011-05-05T10:22:00.001-04:00

Amor oscuro
Amor profundo
Mi amor con mi
Es siempre primero
Mi amor para ti

Naranjas y toranjas
Y dos onzas de ron
Sueño con el dia
Cuando tú yo seremos uni
Mi amor para ti

My Last Letter to Dale Robinette

2011-05-05T10:15:00.001-04:00

Twenty years later, I still find myself thinking of you
And I wonder
What would it be like if we were to meet today for the first time

I am older, perhaps even wiser
And I realize that in my youth
You were more a thing than a person
Yet I did love you in the only way I knew how
I gave you my attention
Unable to give my heart and soul

You have not heard the song I wrote for you
I haven't sung it in probably ten years
I can't help feeling that
At the end of my life
You will be there
A fairy tale ending - closure.
Of all that haunts me in my daily life
Yours are the only memories worth savoring.

I have been apologizing forever,
Apologize now and always
For all the stupid things I did
And hope only that you, too,
Find a few memories of me
Worth recollection.

____________________
from my journal, dated 8/23/96

In my mind

2011-04-24T16:34:00.001-04:00

Breezes whispering in towering pines
Waves lapping along the shore
High and distant, a jet flies to parts unknown
Full of people, unseen; Living lives unknown

I am too much the recluse to live the life I desire
Of friends and music, happy times doing what I love
Envious of those who just go out and do it
In the scene.
But I'm always the dark horse, the hermit, known but unknown
Happily greeted if ever seen, yet part of nothing and no one
Never called, never asked
It only feeds my stupid insecurities

I could do that, I say (to myself)
I didn't know you played out, they say (to me)
And so I am a fine musician who thinks he is not
I am a performer without a stage

And I say to myself, this is why they don't call:
You aren't good enough
They don't like you
You suck

Why is it when someone gives a compliment they don't know what they are talking about
Yet when someone gives a criticism they must be right

In my mind, in my mind

Mysticism

2011-03-25T20:11:00.001-04:00

Jesus’ teachings were never popular, simplistic, repetitious verses to be mumbled weekly as a means to satisfy an unapproachable and unknowable deity. Rather, His teachings challenge each of us to make friends with the Spirit within each of us so that we might experience the living eternal presence of a loving God. Jesus message was clear: each of us has a personal connection to the creator of the universe who wishes us to call Him Father. If we will but move past the things of earth, past the illusion that we are at home here, and that we can have both the things of earth and the joy of heaven, our souls will lead us to higher levels of communication with God. God speaks to each of us who intentionally opens a channel of communication with him. Mysticism is nothing more than shutting out the world long enough to listen to God—high voltage prayer.

Christ's disciples were the first Christian mystics because they followed the discipline Jesus taught them. All but one of Jesus’ disciples was martyred for their determination to spread his teachings; however, their voices were so impassioned and their “truth” so authentic, they changed the world. Converts to the disciples’ metaphysical message began to communicate with a holy presence which could not be understood or seen by people who maintained their allegiance to the world. Nonetheless this presence was real and tangible to these followers who fell in love with and gave their lives for Jesus and his Father.

Saints of every time period are those who take themselves out of the world in order to hear God. It is called a life of contemplation. Many of our well-known saints—Saint John of the Cross, Saint Theresa of Avila, Saint Francis, Hildegard of Bingen, Mother Theresa, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, and Thomas Merton are all well known Christian mystics. Mother Theresa, Teilhard de Chardin, and Merton were all mystics of the twentieth century. Like the prophet Elisha who ran from the world to live in a cave, these people shut themselves off from the world in order to hear “the still small voice of God.”

If anyone thinks this is an easy life, try sitting patiently until God speaks to you. Most of us can’t even quiet ourselves long enough to watch a rainbow or sunset from start to finish or to stay with a fire long enough until the embers die, let alone to sit long enough to not only recognize God’s voice but also to slog through our skepticism and disbelief. Can you imagine anyone announcing to his or her spouse, church, or community, “I have decided to become a Christian mystic.” We would immediately be pummeled with questions like: how will you buy bread? If we answered “Man does not live by bread alone,” clearly we are following our Lord’s teachings; even so, our friends and neighbors would think us mad just as they did Saint Francis a thousand years ago.

There was a time in human history when being “one who communicated with God” was considered a holy calling and those who accepted the call holy people. Jewish rabbinic communities supported men who devoted their lives to study. In early Christianity, monasteries became places for people to leave the world behind and to devote their lives to contemplating the nature of God. Almost all cultures have had medicine men, saints, and holy lepers. These cultures valued men and women who were willing to receive God through the really hard work of self-surrender and meditation because with that commitment miracles, healing, and faith grew among the people. Christian mystics brought not only God’s word but also often supernatural and unexplainable acts to the physical world. Why then has Christianity become less and less accepting of this evocation? My thought is that often the voice of God is frightening to those who have not committed themselves to receiving Him. Religion comforts the worldly with rote sayings and oaths that make a personal relationship with God impossible for many.

When Michael and I first talked of collaborating on a book of meditations, I readily agreed to do so because I enjoy creative worship projects. Before long, I realized that Michael was transmitting God’s desire to be God With Us in his poetry. Michael was being led to a whole different level of Christian writing. He was literally transcribing messages from the Holy Spirit as have other mystics through the ages. There have been moments when I read one of Michael’s poems that my eyes sting and my body burns; my heart lays heavy with a grief for being away from heaven. I “get the power” of Michael’s words, but I can’t hold onto them. They aren’t so easily absorbed and categorized into my thought process. I have to sit as he has with the idea that my soul needs to be in communication with God and that communication is not so easy to come by. It takes practice. It takes commitment. It takes desire to say as Saint Francis did “My God and my all.” How we will proceed with this work is beyond my imagination and Michael’s control. Clearly, his soul has found a way to adore the Father with such wisdom that both Michael and I are simply audience to his work. I am reminded of the scripture “You don’t have because you don’t ask and you don’t ask because you don’t know how to ask.” In Michael’s striving to know God, he has apparently asked the right questions because the floodgate’s of Heaven are open to him. These writings are not for the spiritually immature who think their tradition will save them; it is for the spiritually hungry who know they are missing something their religion isn’t giving them. Those who resonate with Michael’s writing should see them as a stepping stone to their own inner wisdom, their own God within.
_______________
Introduction by Maggie McCary to "Soul Insights: Christians Bridging the New Age" - http://ChristiansBridging.com

The Addict's Prayer

2011-02-27T14:21:00.002-05:00

You woke me up
To this new day
Clean and sober
With thanks I pray

You gave me life
And when I stumbled
You brought me here
To make me humble

Brothers and sisters
Who've been there, too
It's death or life
And I chose you

So thank you, Lord
For this new day
Clean and sober
These things I pray.

copyright (c) Michael R Martin 2011
____________________
Posted using BlogPress app on my iPhone

Family - Damn Family

2011-02-26T18:24:00.001-05:00

Family. Damn family.
They are everything that matters on this earth.
They are the source of the greatest love.
They are the source of the greatest heartaches.
Unconditional love.
Hard, ruthless judgement.

It is a shame how hard it is to overlook history, when we all know deep down Love is all that matters.

Love doesn't always feel good. The deeper the love, the harder it hurts sometimes. But life without love is truly pitiful.

Your family is everything - not just the family you choose and create, your "immediate" family, but ALL your family, your "extended" family, blood relatives all. They are the closest bonds we have on this earth, like it or not. DNA IS thicker than water.

We may be spiritual beings, but we need that live connection we can only find in family. Call one of them today.

__________________________
Caveats: longer than the content. Such is the world we live in. . .

• This is, like most of my writing, about the shared human condition as much, or more, than it is about personal experience. I love my family. And my children are the reason my heart beats.

• Family is defined here primarily by the shared DNA. That means a chosen family member, ie spouse - is NOT the same as a God-given family member, including siblings, parents, and offspring. But I recognize that there is a wide diversity of living situations. I would never mean to discount a step-member or anyone else who is family to you. Feel free to substitute "friends" for "family" if that works for you. But remember, if you HAVE family, don't blow this off just because you think it doesn't apply to you, just because you happen to not like your family.

• So, don't - NOBODY - take this out of context. Read it. Enjoy it, or not. Take something from it. And may God bless you and your family
____________________
Posted using BlogPress app on my iPhone

Destiny

2011-02-23T10:11:00.001-05:00

Who is this who calls you so late at night?
Who is this who wakes you from your sleep?
This IS the message you must heed
You must forgive. You must forget

Wake up to the world with empty heart & empty hands
So you can do the work to which you are called
Put down your weapons, lay down your tools
Your work requires nothing but all that you are

There is no time but now
There is no place but here
Past and present and future are one
Rolled into this moment, time and space

Die and be reborn
This is called your destiny
And you must not refuse
Nothing is wasted so long as you say
Yes
_________
from "Soul Insights: Bridging the New Age for Christians" by Michael R. Martin, CLS & Maggie McCary
____________________
Posted using BlogPress app on my iPhone

Snowfall, imminent

2011-02-01T06:13:00.000-05:00

Blackness on the horizon,
Blacker than black;
Not just the total absence of light
But black hole black
A black that absorbs all light
And spits out nothing in return.

(Odd that) Within that darkness rides the purest of whites
The total opposite of the clouds
A substance so white that it will brighten the landscape upon which it is draped,
Giving off more light than it receives.

Dark - Light

The blackest clouds contain an unrivaled brightness within

Snow, Predawn

2011-01-29T07:09:00.000-05:00

The town, draped in white;
So quiet and still
You can hear the sound of snow falling

No traffic on the road
Or tiniest breeze;
Not even a predawn chorus of birds calling

Twittelator Tweets • My Theme Songs

2011-01-16T23:36:00.000-05:00

Michael R. Martin (@CedarEden):
1/16/11 11:18 PM
♬ 'Lord of the Starfields' - Bruce Cockburn ♪ http://twitpic.com/3qsaff
https://twitter.com/CedarEden/status/26855743550394368

Michael R. Martin (@CedarEden):
1/16/11 11:17 PM
♬ 'All The Ways I Want You' - Bruce Cockburn ♪ http://twitpic.com/3qsa9q
https://twitter.com/CedarEden/status/26855616953712640

Michael R. Martin (@CedarEden):
1/16/11 11:16 PM
♬ 'She Blinded Me With Science' - Thomas Dolby ♪ http://twitpic.com/3qsa26
https://twitter.com/CedarEden/status/26855410480709632

Michael R. Martin (@CedarEden):
1/16/11 11:16 PM
I've been listening to my "Theme Songs of My Life" playlist ♬ 'The Joker' - Steve Miller Band ♪ http://twitpic.com/3qs9yw
https://twitter.com/CedarEden/status/26855319413985282

Michael R. Martin (@CedarEden):
1/16/11 11:15 PM
♬ 'Deepest Part of Me' - Dougie MacLean ♪ http://twitpic.com/3qs9on
https://twitter.com/CedarEden/status/26855043311341569

Michael R. Martin (@CedarEden):
1/16/11 11:15 PM
♬ 'The Boys Of Summer' - Don Henley ♪ http://twitpic.com/3qs9n1
https://twitter.com/CedarEden/status/26855000663658497

Michael R. Martin (@CedarEden):
1/16/11 11:06 PM
♬ 'Someone I Used To Love' - Bruce Cockburn ♪ http://twitpic.com/3qs7cc
https://twitter.com/CedarEden/status/26852908695822336

Michael R. Martin (@CedarEden):
1/16/11 10:57 PM
♬ 'The Coldest Night Of The Year' - Bruce Cockburn ♪ http://twitpic.com/3qs4ke
https://twitter.com/CedarEden/status/26850457485844480

via Twittelator

Collected Thoughts on Snow & Cold

2011-01-16T23:13:00.000-05:00

Virgin white, a gentle snow drifts lazily onto Main Street, hazy highlight against sky cast purple-orange in the lamplight of this tiny city

New and falling snow brighten the day prematurely
An extra-stellar luminance that lifts the spirit an hour before sunrise

It is a magical time of day as the sky lightens
As muted walls of shadow become a tree line
Dark against slightly less dark

All is naught but shades of blue
Azure, ceil, cerulean
Denim, iceberg, indigo
Iris, palatinate, periwinkle

Persian, powder, prussian, royal
Sapphire, teal and aquamarine

It's a brutally cold day. The cold has settled in my sinuses like snow after an avalanche. Sometimes the sun shines teasing the senses but now it's true grey sharp nature blows through me like an ice sword

The moon casts an arctic cold blue glow across a field of new-fallen snow

My Farewell and Hello

2011-01-16T14:31:00.000-05:00

As i led my last service at the United Methodist Church in Saranac Lake, the scriptures gave me strength and led me to know I was on the right path. I have been suffering by ignoring my call and holding back. That is done.
________
Isaiah 49:3-5

He said to me, "You are my servant, Israel,
and you will bring me glory."
I replied, "But my work seems so useless!
I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose.
Yet I leave it all in the LORD's hand;
I will trust God for my reward."
And now the LORD speaks—
the one who formed me in my mother's womb to be his servant,
who commissioned me to bring Israel back to him.
The LORD has honored me,
and my God has given me strength.

Matthew 28:18-20
Jesus came and told his disciples, "I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

Psalm 40:1-4
I waited patiently for the LORD to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the LORD.
Oh, the joys of those who trust the LORD,
who have no confidence in the proud
or in those who worship idols.

1 Corinthians 1:4-9
I always thank my God for you and for the gracious gifts he has given you, now that you belong to Christ Jesus. Through him, God has enriched your church in every way—with all of your eloquent words and all of your knowledge. This confirms that what I told you about Christ is true. Now you have every spiritual gift you need as you eagerly wait for the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. He will keep you strong to the end so that you will be free from all blame on the day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns. God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says, and he has invited you into partnership with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
_______

My Farewell

"After 10 years as voluntary praise service music minister for the First United Methodist Church in Saranac Lake - and at a time when I'm told there would only continue to be a Praise Service if it is run voluntarily and entirely unsupported by the Church - I have decided to accept a position as Music Minister at a non-denominational service held every Sunday 10AM at St. Joseph's Addiction Treatment & Recovery Center in Saranac Lake. St. Joe's was founded by the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement and is Roman Catholic. The service, however, is non-denominational and INCLUSIVE, under the Roman Catholic Womanpriests initiative (http://www.romancatholicwomenpriests.org/). The worship is being led by ordained Christopher Courtwright-Cox and is offered for St. Joseph in-patients and open to the outside public.

I welcome this position as an opportunity to pursue my calling in music and ministry in an open, supportive environment. I've served as guest minister at St. Josephs on several occasions, so I know the power of the Holy Spirit moving in a room of souls crying out for a greater closeness with God. It is regrettable that for most of the years I served the First UMC, the Praise Service was rarely treated as a legitimate part of this Church's ministry. Nevertheless, I took my role seriously, spent many hours each week preparing for each service, and maintained a high standard as a UMC CERTIFIED LAY SPEAKER. While some may think that certification is just a title, it represents a certain level of discipline and study undertaken by the individual, as well as a vote of confidence by one's home church and peers.

I value the friendships I have made, and the experience gained while serving. I wish you all well. I hope that you will take the time to come check out our service one Sunday. Perhaps, too, I will be back as a guest musician or minister at YOUR church some time in the future. And, lastly, this might be an opportunity for this Methodist Church to examine its priorities and actually develop a coordinated worship plan. I'd be happy to participate in such an effort."

We shall (can) all prophesy

2011-01-09T07:45:00.000-05:00

Acts 2:17-18 (AMP)
And it shall come to pass in the last days, God declares, that I will pour out of My Spirit upon all mankind, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy [*telling forth the divine counsels] and your young men shall see visions (^divinely granted appearances), and your old men shall dream [^divinely suggested] dreams. Yes, and on My menservants also and on My maidservants in those days I will pour out of My Spirit, and they shall prophesy [*telling forth the divine counsels and ^predicting future events pertaining especially to God's kingdom].

*G. Abbott-Smith, Manual Greek Lexicon
^Joseph Thayer, A Greek-English Lexicon

Blue day

2011-01-09T07:20:00.000-05:00

Virgin white, a gentle snow drifts lazily onto Main Street, hazy highlight against sky cast purple-orange in the lamplight of this tiny city

New and falling snow brighten the day prematurely
An extra-stellar luminance that lifts the spirit an hour before sunrise

It is a magical time of day as the sky lightens
As muted walls of shadow become a tree line
Dark against slightly less dark

All is naught but shades of blue
Azure, ceil, cerulean
Denim, iceberg, indigo
Iris, palatinate, periwinkle
Persian, powder, prussian, royal
Sapphire, teal and aquamarine

Road to Keeseville

2010-12-30T08:11:00.000-05:00

Crystal-draped ledges loom over Route 9
The sun does not rise this winter morn
Blue-grey light diffuses slowly across the sky

A year winds down, grey and damp
A day brightening minute by minute
The North Country awakens to a new day

Deep in a valley swamp,
A mother moose lifts her dripping muzzle
And glances around to check on her young twins

Raven sits on a high branch and leans into a call
Brother crow wings across the wooded ledge
And dips it's black wings in recognition

Down to earth, deep in snow
A meadow vole shuffles it's well-worn path
And seeks new greens for nibbling

In a neighboring valley
Wood smoke curls from a fresh-stoked fire
Sweetly scenting the air with cherry wood

At last the sun does rise
Golden-yellow on granite and ice
As songbirds cheerfully greeting the new day

Curse of the Gemini

2010-12-26T13:13:00.000-05:00

I am cursed with thinking
Grey matter. Synapses firing
Trying to assemble the meaning of being.
Life random
The things gathered in our lifetime
Days and nights filled
Not so much why am I here
As it is why are you

By extrapolation
Each of us
A circle of influence in others' livers
Are we not, therefore,
All the more valuable to one another?

Family is given, an act of birth
Friends and lovers, on the other hand,
Are somehow chosen
From the pool of humanity in which we swim
Even years apart can not shred the warmth of familiarity
When old friends meet.

A good life is filled
With a cast of characters
Psychic links vibrating the spirit
Like a fly shakes the spider's web
The mind springing to alertness in the dark of night
Or resting pensive and still as arctic noon air

Your pain, I feel,
Across unmeasured units of time and space
The joy, not so much.
Sending prayers and
Warm waves of healing
In lieu of my touch

Winter Eve

2010-12-09T18:03:00.000-05:00

Snow squeaking underfoot
Laden pine boughs droop low
Sickle moon brightly shining
Through bare branches maples sleeping
Orion draws his bow
Against the silent gloss black sky

Dusk

2010-12-02T16:52:00.000-05:00

Pines stand on the hill
Grey-green in the gathering dusk
Snow-covered branches dimly aglow
Winter sky a leaden backdrop of
Purple black clouds heavy with snow

A Message for the Season: Love Fulfills God's Requirements

2010-11-28T10:44:00.000-05:00

Romans 13:8, 10 (NLTse)
Love Fulfills God's Requirements

[8] Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God's law.
. . .
[10] Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God's law.

Romans 13:8, 10-14 (MSG)
Don't run up debts, except for the huge debt of love you owe each other. When you love others, you complete what the law has been after all along.
. . .
You can't go wrong when you love others. When you add up everything in the law code, the sum total is love.

But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can't afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don't loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!

Martin Thanksgiving Dinner

2010-11-26T13:52:00.000-05:00

Turkey, red cabbage cole slaw (from garden), mashes potatoes, pearl onions in cream sauce, sweet potatoes and prunes in homemade maple syrup, sausage stuffing, Grands buttermilk biscuits, homemade creamed corn. Not in picture: Michael's homemade blueberry pie, Huber Winery spiced apple wine.

Enjoyed by just us four. It was wonderful watching Em & M interact as young adults - a lot of sibling ribbing and levity.

Orion, String of Lights

2010-11-02T23:45:00.000-04:00

Orion, string of lights,
Stretched across the Southeastern horizon.
Arctic beauty:
Strong, protective, graceful.
Piercing the night
In a cold, black, pre-winter sky.

Marcy Field - new TUNE

2010-10-28T05:28:00.002-04:00

I am working on a new tune, entitled "Marcy Field" after the location where it was composed. I composed this tune along the banks of the East Branch Ausable River across from Marcy Field, in the Adirondack Mountains. Marcy Field is a grass runway airport located halfway between Keene and Keene Valley.

You can listen to the tune with the music player below.

Marcy Field - copyright © 2010 Michael R. Martin - Adirondack resident and singer/songwriter.
(yeah, it's a little bit Muzak)

View Larger Map

Mid-September: Elevation 1750'

2010-09-12T13:19:00.001-04:00

The last raspberry was shriveled but sweet
Enjoyed while last clippings of lawn clung to my feet
In overcast so solid from sky to ground
That a mist enveloped everything, swallowing sound.

First blush of color on the maple, cabin's corner
A bit as I imagine the thumb of Jack Horner,
Cheeks of young maidens fawning before knights,
And the breast of a Kingfisher winging in flight.

It is time to look close and appreciate the dew
When the glorious horizon is hidden from view
As it's best to remember the woodshed is full
When sunshine is naught and close feels the snow

Banks of Lake Colby

2010-09-07T17:01:00.000-04:00

Laying on a bank by Lake Colby
Dappled in sunlight filtered through a white birch
Surrounded by sound:
Wind in the leaves
Waves gently lapping the shore
Birds and insects singing
Cars passing slowly beyond the top of the bank.

Sleepy sounds of summer fading
Warmth and sunlight reflected off the water
Green grass and yellow flowers waving in the breeze

If I could only preserve today like the
Fresh maple syrup stores up mason jars
Fresh fruit frozen, or preserved as jams and jellies

Late afternoon worth capturing forever
To take out and enjoy when the icy grip of deep winter
Takes hold of your soul, and
Your frozen bones ache for thawing warmth

A crow calls
Breaking my reverie
I glance around once more
At sun and water
Green grass and yellow flowers
And I am up and off
To ride the warm afternoon wind
Forever summer
If but for a day

Stormy weather

2010-09-04T18:55:00.000-04:00

Stormy weather
What I see is how I feel
And nothing you can say
Calms the wind or stills the seas
Over such distances
Against such odds

Yo deseo

2010-08-22T02:46:00.000-04:00

Yo deseo, cómo yo deseo

Yo deseo, cómo yo deseo que usted y yo éramos uno.
Yo deseo, cómo yo deseo que éramos juntos siempre.
Yo deseo, cómo yo deseo que usted eran el mío, aquí y ahora.
Yo deseo, cómo yo deseo que era el tuyo, allí y ahora.

usted es mi sol brillante.
usted es mi vida, mi amor.

Usted completo me.
Tu amor completo me.

Todo mi amor,
Miguel

Amor Oscuro

2010-08-21T02:42:00.002-04:00

amor oscuro
amor profundo
mi amor para ti
a nada es segundo

naranjas y pomelos
y dos onzas del ron
y soñaré con el día
usted y yo seremos uno

I wish . . .

2010-08-20T02:41:00.002-04:00

i wish
i could see you now
in person
across the room
within arms reach
in my arms

i wish
i could hold you now
forgetting all
the world and life
shrinking down to a moment
just you & i together

i wish
i could fall asleep
wrapped up with you
and wake
to find you still there
warm in my arms

i wish
that i could hold you so close
that you could see the world through my eyes

i wish
we were walking
hand in hand
sunrise at the ocean
cool afternoon in the woods
dark night under infinite stars

i wish
you were here now
always
and forever

Thank you, Musician's Friend

2010-08-15T18:15:00.002-04:00

At long last, the MF saga is over, thanks to Glenn Ray, Manager of Customer Service and Technical Support, who took a special and personal interest in this case. I was pleased to see someone finally taking a personal interest at Musician's Friend, since customer satisfaction ought to be priority one. Musician's Friend made a considerable number of concessions to me, together with a personal apology.

Thank you, Glenn. Musician's Friend is now once again on my shopping list as a supplier. Pairing top-rate customer service with your amazing selection of goods on your informative web site is a combination that is tough to beat.

I am Really NOT . . . . (the CONTINUEING SAGA OF my fun with MUSICIAN'S FRIEND

2010-08-12T15:26:00.003-04:00

I am really NOT a mean SOB. Perhaps reading the Musician's Friend Posts you might think otherwise (http://cedareden.blogspot.com/2010/07/musiciansfriendcom-are-mfers.html and http://cedareden.blogspot.com/2010/07/musicians-friend-continues-to-m-f-up.html). I am generally reasonable, calm, thoughtful, considerate and caring. But when things go wrong due to the shortcomings of someone or some thing, particularly if that thing is a business or corporation, I like to let them know about it. First, I want them to know that they failed me. Second, I hope that they learn from the experience so that they do better next time.

I generally do this sort of thing on the down low, behind the scenes, typically via email. It is only when I get particularly frustrated by the bone-headedness of an institution that I take it to the streets, ie. my BLOG.

Musician's Friend, the online music store, is the latest in a very short list to earn my ire. There has been some dialogue, but it took a considerable amount of time before this big, nasty issue got bounced up to someone in management. Check out the comments on the more recent post to see the direction Musician's Friend is heading to prevent a reoccurance and to compensate me in some way for the frustration, missed opportunities due to equipment not arriving when ordered (should they pay my nightly gig fee?). Hey, I ordered in PLENTY of time to have what I needed when I needed it. And I payed for expedited fast shipping when necessary.

So far, I've got ANOTHER promise to personally walk an order to the door (which means what, seeing as how the warehouse is States away from the operations center -- occasionally bringing up some tracking number status on a computer screen?). It worked so well before.
Come on, I am allowed to be a little cynical at this point. Go back and read the two prior posts.

I RESERVE THIS SPACE BELOW FOR THE FINAL RESOLUTION . . .

~~~~~~~~~~

Matter Resolved 08/16/10: See http://cedareden.blogspot.com/2010/08/thank-you-musicians-friend.html

A night for sleeping not slept - What souls do pets possess?

2010-08-06T03:05:00.001-04:00

A night for sleeping not slept, as
I ponder: What souls do pets possess?

Finally, a night for sleeping
Cool and dry.
Through the window
A light breeze
Chirp chirp of a cricket
Steady low buzz of some other bug
Intent on finding a mate.

On the bed beside me,
Young dog sighs,
Nuzzles into my side
And soon snores, quiet & content.
Overhead, old dog paces,
Panting loud & steady as a racing locomotive,
And drags a hind leg from room to room.

Euthanasia, thy time has come.
No quietly slipping away while we sleep.
He's a good dog, family.
I feel like he helped raise the kids.
He cries not,
But his pain, standing, laying, rising, or climbing stairs,
Is unbearable to watch.

What souls do pets possess?
When we stare into their eyes,
Is it the infinite connection of all living things,
Or just a reflection of our own humanity,
Our longings, desires, need to be loved,
That we see?
If dogs don't go to heaven, I don't want to go.

Musician's Friend Continues to M F-up with my orders - WHY MUSICIAN'S FRIEND SUCKS! STILL! AND MORE!

2010-07-21T06:14:00.013-04:00

RECAP

Take a simple order. Ship it ground. Check. - Call this Order 1
Take another simple order to ship overnight. Ship by ground instead. NOT check. Call this Order 2A
Promise to stop order 2A and overnight a replacement (Order 2B). Stop order 1 instead. NOT check.
Promise to "walk that overnight replacement order" 2B out the door so it arrives by needed date. NOT check

For those keeping score, that is 1 error, 1 compounded error, and 1 egregious error (breaking a promise made "to set things right")

UPDATE (and more MF-ups at MF, the company)

Order 1 is now almost a week overdue. A check of the tracking information shows that order 1 was recalled back to MF again instead of being sent back out to me and the original order 2A is being sent back out to me instead of being accepted as a return. AS OF TODAY July 23, the package that was OUT FOR DELIVERY TO ME on July 16, literally an hour or less from my door until ERRONEOUSLY RECALLED by Musician's Friend, is now in Randolph MO! The UPS truck probably drove by my house several times that day with the order in back. A WEEK LATE, not moving in my direction, AND MUSICIAN'S FRIEND HASN'T EVEN OFFERED TO SHIP IT BACK TO ME THE FASTEST WAY POSSIBLE. - OK they did offer. AFTER I called to follow up and was on hold for a long time while they tried to sort this mess out again. So, when it finally arrives, it will only be a week and a half late.

ALL of this mess was initiated by Musician's Friend. The correction for accidentally recalling order 1 instead of order 2A was to send order 1 back out to me after it reached the warehouse. Instead, order 1 is somewhere in Kansas and 2A is heading my way.

Score: Musician's Friend 4, Me 0
And we both lose.

I've lost all faith in MF, and I've spent not inconsequential amounts with them over the years (including a Gibson Les Paul Standard, multiple amps, etc.).

Musician's Friend loses one loyal customer, and the value of that goodwill in personal recommendations.
I'll never receive anything I ordered when I needed it. I may never even receive everything I've ordered. I am concerned that I'll never receive all the refunds and discounts I am due.

Fellow musicians, if you are listening. Take your business elsewhere. I recommend locally. Support the local shop and they will support the local music scene.

Musician's Friend, if YOU are listening, and I particularly mean MF CEO, President or other senior executive, hear me:

your first error (ground instead of overnight), while it shouldn't have happened, was easy to make right so that I got my stuff and you retained my goodwill.
Your second error (recalling wrong order) was bogus since I specifically offered to provide the order number to prevent confusion, because your rep was clearly confused.
Your third error - WHAT! Now NOTHING would arrive on Friday?! REALLY?! And yet, as amazing as it sounds, your errors are continuing.

Mr/Madam President/CEO of Musician's Friend-

Why have order numbers if you don't use them to actually manage orders? Crap, forget about that. Just GET somebody with a brain to figure out how much money you owe me in refunds on merchandise returned (recalled by you intentionally and accidentally) and see to it that I get those refunds. I'd be happy to provide the order numbers.
On second thought, that is giving you all too much credit (no pun). Just refund my credit card for ALL my purchases in the last month. That way, you won't need no stinkin' order numbahs.
THAT, and a direct apology, will make it right.

~~~~~~~~~~
Matter Resolved 08/16/10: See http://cedareden.blogspot.com/2010/08/thank-you-musicians-friend.html

MusiciansFriend.com are MFers

2010-07-16T17:30:00.004-04:00

Here has been my experience with Musicians Friend over the past week, and why they really are MFers!

Here has been my experience with Musicians Friend over the past week, and why they really are MFers! Just wanted to know I will never order from you again & have am telling the world the best way I know how: http://cedareden.blogspot.com/2010/07/musiciansfriendcom-are-mfers.html

FOR REFERENCE, HERE ARE THE ORDER NUMBERS:

#SXXXXXXXX 07/14/2010 $128.89 INTERCEPT/RETURN to MF - REFUND -
MF Mistake Ground instead 1 Day

#SXXXXXXXX 07/15/2010 $85.00 Next Day NO CHARGE because of mistake on first order

#SXXXXXXXX SHIPPED 07/13/2010 Due for delivery 07/16
(tracking says intercept/RETURN)

I placed an order on 7/13/10, shipped UPS GROUND, due for delivery today, 7/16/10 -- it included a cart to carry my heavy AMP for a GIG this weekend. I received an email on 7/13/10 thanking me for my order and the UPS tracking number indicated GROUND due 7/16/10

I placed an order on 7/14/10 paying $30 extra for OVERNIGHT SHIPPING due 7/16/10 -- it included a small amp for ANOTHER GIG this weekend.

On 7/15/10 I received an email thanking me for my order and showing shipping by UPS GROUND NOT OVERNIGHT. So I called and the idiot tried to tell me I asked for Ground and was getting Ground. I explained, NO, I had an EARLIER order that was ground but paid $30 extra to get this latest order 7/16/10. I OFFERED TO PROVIDE ORDER NUMBERS SO HE COULD SORT IT OUT. He declined.

After more than an hour on the phone, at 4 in the morning, this idiot and his idiot supervisor (Chris, I believe) agreed to send a STOP SHIPMENT AND RETURN on the recent order that was accidentally shipped GROUND instead of OVERNIGHT. AND they assured me that a NEW small amp would go out immediately overnight and still arrive hereon FRIDAY.

The next thing I know, I check the tracking and the first order, which was an hour away at the facility waiting to be delivered to me was RETURNED TO MUSICIANS FRIEND. THE IDIOTS RECALLED THE WRONG ORDER. When I called about that, I was told SORRY, we screwed up (again) and nothing you could do about it.

NOW, It is 5:30PM FRIDAY, NO SMALL AMP AS PROMISED that Chris assured me he was going to personally see it get done. NO EARLIER first ORDER that should have been here today. NOTHING I ORDERED FOR TODAY IS HERE. AND THE BEST THEY COULD DO IS SAY WHEN THE FIRST ORDER GETS ALL THE WAY BACK TO THEM THEY WILL TURN IT AROUND AND SEND IT IT ME.

CREDITS ARE WORTHLESS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU IDIOTS. Not only that, you can't even INSTANTLY refund my credit card even though EVERYTHING was your fault due to your stupidity and stubbornness and refusal to actually pay attention to the problem I was describing to you.

Now they won't even let me post this complaint to their email support using my registered customer name.

Musicians Friend ARE MFers, plain and simple.

~~~~~~~~~~
Matter Resolved 08/16/10: See http://cedareden.blogspot.com/2010/08/thank-you-musicians-friend.html

My Upcoming Summer & Fall Gigs

2010-07-08T11:32:00.001-04:00

Here is a schedule of my upcoming summer/fall gigs so far:

With The Whompers:
• Fri 8/6 - Saranac Lake TBD (BluSeed?)
• Sat 8/7 - TriTown Festival Parade, Brasher Falls 11AM (line-up 10AM)
• Sat 8/7 - private party, Brasher 4PM-8PM
• Sun 8/8 - Erin's Isle, Brasher Falls 4PM-8PM

Solo Acoustic/electric
• Almost every Sunday - Praise service First UMC, Saranac Lake
• Almost every Wednesday - Community Supper, First UMC, Saranac Lake
• Sat 10/2 - Rockin' for Rett 2.0, sometime between 10AM & 4PM; Tucker Farm, Gabriels - I should be able to play a longer set and show off some new originals - Great cause, Good Music

When Josie comes home . . .

2010-07-08T11:20:00.002-04:00

This is a picture of a little dive in Madison, Wisconsin that I posterized.

Isn't this the awesomest sign?

2010-07-08T11:12:00.002-04:00

Talk about your pure, funky Americana. Betty Beavers Fuel Stop - in THREE D ! Click to zoom in and check it out! (check her out?)

On the road to the gulf coast

2010-06-08T12:11:00.001-04:00

It is noon on Tuesday and I am on my way to the gulf of Mexico. I am driving through Pennsylvania on interstate 81. Green fields on rolling hills. Light blue sky filled with bright white clouds. Concrete roads and jersey barriers. Big rigs hauling tandem trailers. Road construction everywhere. Narrow, shifting lanes. Just 6 more hours to my first night stop. I'm looking forward to see my daughter, my sister in law and brother in law.

Note: this blog entry was dictated by using Vlingo on my BlackBerry Bold. I did not text while driving!

Exhausting

2010-06-04T07:05:00.001-04:00

Mmmmm. I love the smell of motorcycle exhaust: an oily, metallic fragrance with a top note of something purely motorcycle in nature. It always reminds me of when I worked for Rockingham Security as a job in college. One weekend I had to stand guard in a Harley shop because the owners were in receivership or something. Every now and then I'd go from the showroom to the shop and start one of the hogs up, just to hear it roar. It was then I came to really know that distinct smell of an idling and revved motorcycle engine.

I'd been driving motorcycles since I was 14 or so but had never warmed up a bike's engine indoors and so missed that smell. Or perhaps it was just that my little Suzuki 250 and Kawasaki 500 just didn't have the digestive system to produce the smell. Certainly my big V-Twin Honda cruiser does it.

Final 50 Wrap!

2010-05-27T01:18:00.000-04:00

My big day ended in spectacular fashion. Marlene and the kids took me out to dinner, and we were joined by 5 of my closest friends. It was an unexpected and pleasant surprise. We enjoyed a long, sumptuous dinner, cake and conversation. When we returned home, it was present time. I got a number of nice gadgets and things. The best was saved for last, though.

Shown here is my new Fender Vintage '60s Reissue Stratocaster, complete with tweed case and strap. WOW! I haven't had a chance to plug it in yet, but I just might. It's 1 AM but my amp is over in the office, above the garage and a separate building from the house. Hmmmmm. . .

Birthday #50 Chronicles (Tales of an Aging Ponderer)

2010-05-26T10:24:00.002-04:00

5/26/2010 09:26:15 AM •

My day started with a failed attempt at sleeping in. My phone kept beeping like a Star Trek communicator every time a friend posted a birthday wish on facebook. Not complaining. It is nice to have friends.

Dragged my butt upstairs and had a bowl of Luck Charms with "new swirly charms" or something like that, and skim milk. It was like eating a bowl of petrified pseudo-marshmallow with an occasional sweetened oat cereal.

Scheduled for ultrasounds and cystoscopy at 11:30 & 12:30 at the Adirondack Medical Center (hospital), I spent the remainder of my morning reading Terrence West's Fallen Angels on my iPod touch (book 1 of the Fallen Angels trilogy - something to do with Area 51) while trying NOT to dread the upcoming procedures or overthink pre-procedure preparation. But it is hard to read while you are trying to calculate the precise best time to shower so that you arrive fresh for invasive procedures without arriving damp! Things like this and a zillion other stupid and important things swirling around in my mind are the reason I don't sleep much.

I know: who schedules themselves for potentially unpleasant procedures on their birthday, right? I didn't have much choice. I had to fit it in when I could, not knowing when I might be called off to the Gulf to help with the spill (http://GulfCoastPost.blogspot.com). And tomorrow I have to get up and leave at 6:30AM to make a follow-up with an entodontist so he can root around under a a new crown because his root canal didn't take. Hopefully third time is a charm!

I decided to shower at 10:30 so I can arrive at hospital* to check in 1/2 hour early. I've also decided to ride my motorcycle in. It is just four miles and I'm not donning all that gear and lugging it around all day. Just helmet and gloves. It'll be easier to find a spot to park, plus I can just lock the helmet to the bike. Brooom brrrooom!

(*I remember when I started hearing Americans begin to use "hospital" as do the Europeans instead of "the hospital." I can't say I like it. And I still can't say I'm going "on holiday." When I go on vacation I go on A holiday -- though apparently I am ok with going on vacation versus going on a vacation. Plain hospital and holiday sound so pretentious.)

My daughter, Emily, up from North Carolina for my birthday (and to see her friends), wished me a happy birthday this morning. A smile from her melts my heart and makes my day. Thank you for that, Em. Shortly after, she took off again - we don't see much of her when she is home anymore.

Rumor has it we are going out to dinner tonight. I had kind of hoped I could just go play guitar at the Community Supper and keep things low key. But, I think birthdays are really for the other people in your life and I will try not to ruin this for them by being my usual grumpy self. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

God, when did we all turn middle-aged?! I remember when the neighbor turned fifty. That seemed so significant. Now I am turning fifty and in some respects I am still that 17 year old boy skidding around in an old VW beetle. I've known for some time that we have some internal "age" that doesn't seem to change for us. But every time I reach an age milestone, I am amazed I don't feel different. Does this mean that 80 year old gentleman pillar of our community still feels 18 or 21 and just appears to us to be the wise, old man?

Maybe it isn't so much an internal age as it is an internal identifier or identity - our self-image formed at some point in our early life that doesn't change much as our bodies age around it. I'm not the first guy to turn 50, but does everybody ponder it as much as I?

"'Cause I'm the Ponderer. Yes I'm the Ponderer. I ponder, ponder, ponder, pondewr ..." - sung to the tune of "The Wanderer"
Hah! That right there just reminded me of the old Mad Magazines.

5/26/2010 10:20:41 AM •
»» Off to the showers - more later ««
Wish me luck (Not for the shower, dufus! The hospital visit!)

»»»»»»»»»»««««««««««

Back from my little expedition. Don't ask. Owooooooo-ooo-ooo-OUCH!

Day's End

2010-05-23T20:33:00.001-04:00

Sunlight gilds tree-filled banks
Across still blue water.

A horizon of water and clouds
Erupt in flames of orange and red
Set ablaze by the setting sun.

At last the sky goes pink to grey
And happy bats begin to flit about,
Far few to stem the insect tide.

Loneliness

2010-05-23T08:02:00.001-04:00

"Loneliness is a fearsome enemy. Humans can stand any number of setbacks – poverty, starvation, the worst pain their bodies can inflict, homelessness, disaster, the moment before death, and the centuries upon centuries of life that remain once a loved one is gone forever. They can weather it and emerge from under the sledgehammer of it all as long they have one thing. Someone to go through it with them. Even if that person is not kind to them, they know at least that they are not alone."

"Maze of Trees"
by Claudia O'Keefe

Reflections on the Dawn

2010-05-23T06:49:00.000-04:00

Early morning, late May
Sunlight in pure yellow rays
Streaming over the mountain peaks
Streaking across an azure sky
Striking new leaves fresh with chlorophyll
Stirring robins to sing in the new day

Leaves, freshly unfurled,
bathed in photon streams that flow unfettered
by their passage through cool, unsoiled mountain air,
glow lemon-lime as if illuminated from within.

Those who sleep may be better rested than I
but miss a spectacle so free and invigorating
that I shall rise running rings around them
in spirit if not in deed.

Although,
I do see a nap in my future.

Online TV to Watch | Fascinating World of Animal Attraction and Sex in Sundance's Green Porno & Seduce Me

2010-05-20T17:06:00.002-04:00

Sundance Channel Original Online Shows on Animal Attraction and Reproduction. Funny characters illustrate the strange and unique world of animal attraction and reproduction.

GREEN PORNO
Isabella Rossellini's award-winning series of very short films about the reproductive habits of marine animals. GREEN PORNO is scientifically accurate yet extremely entertaining. Produced by Isabella Rossellini, Jody Shapiro and Rick Gilbert.

Three seasons of Green Porno include Squid, Shrimp, Anchovy, and more

SEDUCE ME
Directed, written by and starring Isabella Rossellini, these five two-minute portraits explore the unconventional seduction rituals of creatures ranging from bugs to cuttlefish. SEDUCE ME offers an entertaining yet informative look into the bizarre seduction rituals that often precede the mating process

Season 1 of Seduce Me includes Bed Bugs, Snakes, Ducks and Cuttelfish

Submitted by Ollie Owlfly (my Green Porno name)

GEICO not so good to the OTHER Guys

2010-05-12T10:18:00.003-04:00

And by other guys, I mean us. A Geico client rolled his car 40 feet down our yard and over our son's cherry '99 Saab, destroying it and four evergreen trees in the process. Our yard is strewn with glass and sharp body parts and pieces and we are down one vehicle, through NO FAULT of ours. Geico is refusing to provide a rental vehicle or clean up the yard until they can "get in touch with their client." Meanwhile, we have a safety hazard in our yard AND are stuck juggling vehicles.

So, here is what happens when an SUV does an endo over the backof a '99 Saab

At least they didn't find the body in the trunk. Oh! Bada-bing!

It sure looks sweet from the front!

Check out that cherry leather interior!

Gulf Coast Post Now a Separate Blog

2010-05-11T19:45:00.001-04:00

My Gulf Coast Post Blog is now up and running. Please check it out, and pass it along. In the days to come, it will have my first-hand accounts and on-scene photographs.

Gulf Coast Post: Set to Deploy

2010-05-11T03:01:00.000-04:00

Well, as some of you know, I am still safely ensconced in my abode at Cedar Eden while oil continues to spew into the Gulf of Mexico from the Deepwater Horizon site. All that is set to change very soon. While winds were out of the north, the oil slick remained off-shore and therefore my services were not needed. It is looking like the spill will make landfall in MS and AL sometime this week, at which time I will take off fast from here.

My gear is still packed. In fact, I have been living out of duffel bags for a week, waiting to deploy on a moments notice. I'll send a few quick posts as I travel and then expect frequent if not daily posts from the scene, with photos included.

Follow me on twitter as CedarEden as well as on this blog, cedareden.blogspot.com

Green Morning Reminiscing

2010-05-05T06:03:00.001-04:00

The sky behind Whiteface Mountain is tinged peachy by the impending sunrise. The sun's rays, reflected and diffuse, seem to move slowly through the damp air. All of the colors go odd. The whole scene begins to look as if it is submerged in a fish tank of algae water.

The lawn has greened up so quickly these last few days of warm and rain. Covered in dew, the sloping yard has the look of fine velvet. The chill air, the dampness, the birds singing; all of these things combine to send me back, almost as real & true as time travel, to happy, youthful mornings. I would run outside with the chirp of the morning's first bird. Listening to the growing chorus in light growing from gloom to glow, I sensed my whole life before me. I sensed that anything was possible. And I made the best of each moment that I had, alone or with friends, cycling through the ups and downs of teen angst and puberty.

It always strikes me as funny how certain brief, little moments in life stay with me with such clarity. Skidding around a mailbox post while driving my VW packed with screaming friends, who I suppose they thought they were going to die, not realizing I knew how to coax a power slide out of that measly little 42 horsepower engine. Their relief when we stopped our slide and I stopped the car, laughing to blow off the tension and nerves, clapping me on the back and hailing me "Mario," a reference to famed race car driver Mario Andretti and NOT the Nintendo game character who came along much later.

Sitting at the piano at Tori's house, just noodling around and making some made-up music. And I remember Tori said, with some sadness, how I could play the piano so well without any lessons and she had been taking them all her life. Well, number one, it didn't sound all that good; and number two, she drove a Porsche to school while I drove an old beetle.

Speaking of beetles, what fun in the empty school parking lot, playing President's Secret Service Detail. I'd get the bug rolling in first gear and we'd all stand on the running boards outside of the car as it putted along. I think once I managed to kick it into second before climbing out and the thing nearly got away from us as it gathered speed.

I could go on. Through all the years of my life, for the most part, there are these little nuggets of sharp detail that sit around in the dark until some random thing in the here and now causes me to swing a flashlight across their forms. And the details come right back, brightly reflecting the light of my attention.

So bizarre.

Gulf Coast Post: Prepping for Trip, Testing Mobile Blog Posting

2010-05-04T07:31:00.002-04:00

In preparation for my first 3 week trip to the Gulf Coast to help oversee cleanup, I am testing direct posting to my blog from my Blackberry to see how it handles pics & such. I may make some posts from the field but likely do my Hi-Res digital photo processing & posting in the evenings.

I've got a full day ahead of me: filling prescriptions, dentist & doctor appointments, rescheduling things, finding rental car close to Gulf coast & booking a flight there, backing up work data on laptop, packing all my gadgets & gear, packing clothes & personal items, and finally, hopefully, getting a little sleep before I catch the 6AM Cape Air out of the Adirondack Regional Airport (SLK), 4 miles from my home. And hoping that my new, untested TSA-Homeland Security Redress Number will speed my check-ins - seems my name is common enough that I've been on the No-Fly list for years, requiring a call to FBI every time I check in at a terminal.

Adirondack Spring Ride - April 07, 2010

2010-05-03T19:45:00.000-04:00

I love the Adirondacks this time of year, kind of a pre-Spring this far north and at these elevations. Lately, we've had early ice-out on the lakes and snow-gone in the woods. Sure, it is kind of brown and grey, but with the leaves off the trees you can see the lay of the land, at least where it isn't blocked by stands of spruce and cedar.
Tupper Lake
First stop was Tupper Lake for wings at Guido's Pizzeria, locally owned for decades and home of the best, all-homemade Italian fast food: pizzas, wings, subs, etc. Heading out of town, I cross the Tupper Lake causeway and stop to admire the wind-swept water and pre-emergent wetland.

Hamlet of Long Lake
Stopped for gas at Kickerville Station, just outside the hamlet of Long Lake. In Long Lake, I stopped to take a picture of the little float plane Flying Service office and the one lone float plane on the lake. It was brown, perfect for the color scheme of this season. Come summer, there are three or four float planes.

Rain - Hamlet of Indian Lake

Turning towards Indian Lake, I pass the divide between the St. Lawrence River & Hudson River watersheds. Along the way, I see this cool jeep parked at a trailhead. About the time I reach Indian Lake, it begins to rain. I don't mind the rain, riding through the central Adirondacks on my motorcycle. I'm mostly waterproof. All the colors change when wet. The brown ground shows a bit of green, the yellow dead grass and grey bare trees become brighter, almost shiny. It also causes interesting low-level clouds along the hills and small peaks.

And it reminds me of growing up in Gilmanton, NH. The spring rains always brought out the little red salamanders. They'd be all over the yard and woods, and we would hike around and collect them in buckets and coffee cans. We'd always let them go again, but it was fun to hold them in your hand - their little feet tickled a bit as they walked around.
So it rained in the hamlet of Indian Lake. I stopped at a Stewart's and had a coffee & banana split. A warning came through on my Blackberry for thunderstorms, heavy rain and high winds in southern Adirondacks moving north. Here in the store it seems like everybody knows everybody else, and many of them are related. There is a steady stream of customers, male and female, stocking up on beer for this rainy afternoon. The favorite choice seems to be light beer in a 12 pack. Glad I'm not stuck in that kind of life.
I decided to head home when I was finished.
Hamlet of Blue Mountain Lake
On my way home, I have to drive into the hamlet of Blue Mountain Lake. Years ago, I did a lot of work on this lake, including detailed watershed & water quality modeling to predict the effect of increased development within the watershed on lake water quality.
There isn't much here. At the intersection of Route 30 & Route 28, there are a few buildings and shops. It is here where you have to decide whether to continue on straight and eventually hit Old Forge or take a left and go through the hamlets of Indian Lake, Town of Minerva, and a few other small settlements. If you continue on straight, you hit the center of the hamlet of Blue Mountain Lake, as defined by the highest concentration of buildings on both sides of the lake and on the lake shore. You have a fire station, a performing arts center, and a handful of water/recreation-related stores and a collection of houses perched right over the water.
Saranac Lake
Near the end of my journey, I stopped at the Saranac Lake United Methodist Church. They were cleaning up from their weekly Community Supper, a free meal for anyone who wants it. They get from 50 - 70 people. It is a chance to not worry about making supper, reduce the food bill, save a few bucks. Also a chance to be part of a community for a night. A lot of nights I show up & play music, giving it a coffee house feel. They really like Johnny Cash.

OOOOOOOOOOOooooo! eBay SUCKS ! ! ! !

2010-04-30T19:05:00.002-04:00

Oh, I'm sure a few of you remember when ebay announced that they were changing the way they handled their rating system, where buyers and sellers could rate the experience when purchasing or selling an item. They decided to NOT allow sellers to leave negative feedback. At the time, I though "eh, whatever."

Well, I just had the following experience: listed a brand new unopened Blackberry Bold 9700. Sweet! At the end of the auction, a bidder ran it up to $378 and won. Sweet! When I did not hear from him, I sent him an invoice. He wrote back and said "oh, I forgot I was bidding on two and can I not but yours." The asshole's ebay ID is hyungwooooo. Digging around ebay, they have a complicated process when this happens. In the end, I get refunded my listing and transaction fees. I have my Bold and no cash.

Then I tried to leave some comment so another buyer won't get screwed by this dufus. Nope. No way, no how. And here is what ebay had to say to me when I contacted them . . . .

Translation: IT IS ALL TO INCREASE BUYER CONFIDENCE, FUCK THE SELLER

"

Dear Michael,

Thank you for contacting eBay. To better serve our members, we're
changing the way we work with you when you have a question. If the information below doesn't answer your question, a Customer
Service agent can assist you more quickly by chatting with you online.

To chat with an agent about this issue, go to http://pages.ebay.com/help/basics/n-livehelpemail.html.To ask a different question, go to
http://contact.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ContactUsNextGen.

With regards to your concern on leaving negative Feedback to a buyer.

Seller can't leave negative Feedback because the goal is to improve the buying experience on the site by regaining the confidence of buyers. A big issue with the older Feedback system was that buyers feared retaliatory Feedback from sellers, which made it harder for buyers to distinguish between good and bad sellers. Also, buyers who received negative Feedback in the past were less likely to buy again in the future.

By improving buyer confidence on the site, we hope to increase buying activity -- which is also good for sellers.

We have made some changes in our feedback system. An important change right now that affects your concern is that sellers are no longer able to leave negative or neutral feedback to buyers. Please allow me some time to explain this change well for you as this was made for the interest of both buyers and sellers. It will be best that you hold your questions until later, after I'm done explaining everything. Will this be okay with you?

We have found that negative Feedback left for buyers reduces buyer activities on the site. In the past, we have seen many buyers who would rather leave eBay than give accurate feedback about their transaction within the site since there is threat of receiving negative Feedback. Sellers then do not benefit when buyers leave.

With the new system, the eBay marketplace will actually be improved as a whole since both buyers and sellers will benefit from it. As buyers, they will increase confidence in bidding as they will be able to build trust in sellers. As sellers, this means more sales at a possible higher price since there will be more buyers who'll have confidence in bidding.

I'd also like to emphasize that sellers will also be protected from
buyers who violate our policies via the Unpaid Item system and other
means of reporting. All neutral and negative feedback given by a buyer will be removed if the buyer is found to violate our policies and thus become suspended.

It is my pleasure to assist you. Thank you for choosing eBay.

Sincerely,
Kristine Al.
eBay Customer Support

(emphasis added)
Grrrr

Moment, uninterrupted

2010-04-13T14:51:00.001-04:00

It was a much slower time
When you had to wait until you got home to get a phone call.
You could live in the moment, uninterrupted.

Life didn't seem slow then,
But what did we know?
People wonder how we managed to get things done before smartphones and computers.
I wonder how we manage to get things done now.

The real funny thing is,
Life is life,
Proceeding at the same reckless pace as always.
The difference is that now, we just skim across the surface, cramming our pockets full of every worthless thing we can grab.

Would that we all could live,
In the moment,
Uninterrupted.

Unlucky in Love - July 9, 1983

2010-04-02T13:39:00.000-04:00

I feel like the little spider
In the lady black widow's web.
I'm wondering if I'll get of here with my head.

Sunset - July 20 1983

2010-04-02T13:38:00.001-04:00

High Tide at dusk
Bluest of blues, tinted rust

When You Smile

2010-04-02T12:06:00.001-04:00

Your face, when you smile, like the clouds at dawn
Illumin that comes from within.
Innocent and open, as warm as the promise
Of a new day about to begin.

Your eyes, when you smile, like swells on the sea
Cerulean deep in the sun.
Innocen and open, as warm as the promise
Of a new day already begun.

Your lips, when you smile, like leaves in the fall
Fresh fallen, fire on clover.
Innocent and open, as warm as the promise
Of the stars when a new day is over.

NHL Management - 2 Tickets to . . . nowhere

2010-03-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

I see this facebook sidebar advertisement,

"Get 2 free tickets to a NJ Devils game when you purchase a Devils retro jersey at Modell's (see participating NJ locations)."

And I think, "Which one of these two, the jersey or the seats, is way over-priced?" (Shhhh, It's a trick question, the answer is C - all of the above)

In NHL Pro rinks across North America, the affordable seats are certainly not family-friendly (think nosebleed section OR picture the drunken hoser sloshing about). And the seats where a father or mother might pass on a passion for the game are certainly NOT affordable. I recognize and applaud the gestures made here and there - the New Jersey Devils, for instance, host a family night package on selected games that includes 4 tickets, 4 fountain drinks, and a pizza for one more modest fee.

I'm not asking for the elite, glass-banging first row seats*, and I am not directing this to all those wonderful individual players who are helping out with so many charities, not for the publicity but because they care. But surely, SURELY the National Hockey League takes in enough through endorsement deals, franchise fees, and contracts with the various broadcast media to let a little hockey love trickle down to the have nots.

I'd like to see the NHL, the owner/management of each individual franchises, TicketMaster, and season ticket holders stop trying to extract every last dollar from those unused, cushy seats up front and instead use them in a continental program to let the have-nots experience professional hockey in all its glass-banging, life-size, heart-pounding glory.

*turns out I WAS asking for the elite, glass-banging first row seats, but not ALL of them ALL of the time. And I have found row 6 pretty special, too, although it was on the visitor's side. This special treat still set us back, just for my son and me, one-third the cost of a decent used car.

One-Liners

2010-03-09T10:55:00.002-05:00

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been giving me lately!

Time flies whether or not you're having fun.

Skydivers: good to the last drop.

We can learn a lot from people who keep their mouth shut.

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.If God wanted us to be thin, food wouldn't taste so good.

Many of our ambitions are nipped in the budget.

A great many people confuse their lack of planning with an emergency.

If you're doing the speed limit, you're in the way.

Forget the whales, save the cowboy.

He's one person who would make a perfect stranger.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

The only people truly under the weather are buried.

Source: http://www.crosswalk.com

Now I know STAMPS.COM REALLY SUCKS!

2010-03-08T11:59:00.001-05:00

Well, it was just exactly a year ago today that I told you my ridiculous tale of customer service crap dished out by Stamps.com to fraudulently bilk me out of money I do not owe them. The basics are this: I had Stamps.com service at $4.99/month. I stopped using their service and sent their customer service reps an email stating I was done with their service. They emailed back that for "security reasons" they couldn't close my account be email. Yeah, right, sounds like they want to put the thumb screws on to continue. So I wrote back that there is no reason why I should have to do anything but notify them through my registered company email address that I am canceling my account. And they spouted some fine print in some agreement somewhere.

Time went on. Every month or so I would get another bill via email saying I owed them an ever-increasing balance, and I would reply to that email address and their customer service email address that sorry, I canceled my service. PLEASE STOP SENDING ME INVOICES.

And then a bill would come just randomly show up. Finally, no bills for two or three months.

TODAY, I get an Collections Notice, saying they have canceled my account per my request. However, the credit card on file did not work on the near $100 they wanted to charge me for NOT using their service since December 2008! HA!

So, here is how it all ended. I called the toll-free number on the "Collections Notice." I was referred to another toll-free number by a recorded message. I was placed on hold for over 10 minutes of the WORST and LOWEST FIDELITY hold music I have ever had to experience.

Finally, a non-native American from India and I tried to figure out what we were saying to each other. At last, it became clear that this was the phone line used exclusively for their ridiculous fake collections notices and I was quickly issued a confirmation code and could then disregard the bill.

THANKFULLY, over these past two years, I had discontinued use of the credit card I had set up for that Stamps.com account at the same time I stopped using stamps.com. Otherwise, they would have happily charged me $4.95 a month forever - or until I figured it out.

So, Moral is, always check your credit card bill. And, frankly, if you don't want to fricking call when an email will do, stick by your guns! Damn the torpedoes.

And, I STILL SAY (in my opinion) STAMPS.COM SUCKS!

Reference Post March 9, 2009 - Stamps.com - A REAL Pain in the Ass! - http://cedareden.blogspot.com/2009/03/stampscom-real-pain-in-ass.html (one year into this madness)

Magical Mystery House

2010-03-08T06:15:00.001-05:00

I don't want to live in a house where messes get made,
yet nobody made them;
Things get lost,
yet nobody lost them;
Other things get broken,
yet nobody broke them,
Tools get used and left out,
yet nobody used them.

I don't want to live in a house
where the last one to use it is the last one to clean it,
And the one who emptied it isn't the one to refill it.

And if all of that means
I am destined to live
in a house by myself, then so be it.
Because I will fill it with plants,
and friends, and music, and love.
The doors will always be open,
a bed or a futon or a spot in the corner always free.

But the saddest thing might be
if I can only fill that magical mystery house
with me.

Fat Skinny Kid

2010-03-07T07:45:00.001-05:00

Getting ready for church, my last performance for a month or so while CAN/AM Hockey is in town, since I schedule the "videotaping" (dvding?) Of up to 100 games Thursday through Sunday.

I stepped on scale to see I've ballooned up to a chart-topping 225 pounds, which is pretty fat for the skinny guy I was in HS. There is no hiding it, that is for sure.

It looks like it is time for diet & exercise. The thing of it is, I don't eat all that much in a day. Unfortunately, 80 percent of all the meds I take have weight gain as a side effect, so I feel like an overstuffed teddy bear.

But I haven't been moving around much either. So its time to cut out the candy & occasional bowls of ice cream, and the pistachios I munch on while watching TV & start doing my sit ups & push ups.

When I was 42 or so, I just started doing sit ups and push ups, then leg raises and leg bicycles and I got ripped. If I can do it at 40, maybe I can do it at 50. I don't have much time and I'm starting at a significant disadvantage.

And,
Exercise now gives me migraines.
So, we shall see.
I got to run, time to blow them away with music at the Praise Service,
Again!
(I say with complete humility, Christ)

Sunrise

2010-03-06T06:55:00.001-05:00

Sunrise.
Another day.
Another chance to love.
Another chance to do right by someone.

Why do we get angry with those we love
When they could be taken from us art any time?
Who knows how long anyone has?

Sunrise.
Another day.
A chance to love the ones we love.
Another chance
To do right by someone.
Another chance
For a random act of kindness.

Love.
It is all God wants from any of us.
Love yourselves.
Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
And Love your enemies even more.
Love.

Love. Love Lost.

2010-03-06T05:16:00.001-05:00

Love
Is the desire for closeness,
Longing for that next touch,
Skin on skin.
Love
Is aching for that next touch,
Desire that grows, day by day.
It is not the kind of love
Some people can sustain.

I've had that kind of love.
I've had that kind of love
Wither.
I've had that kind of love
Fade.
I've had that kind of love
Lost.

And after all the love I've had,
The loves brief, the loves long,
After all the love lost,
I still believe in love.
Hopelessly romantic.
Only because I know
You are out there,
A love that could have been,
In other times, other situations.
A love that could be,
Now,
If you would only let it be so.

One hopeless romantic,
Burned by love & burned by lovers,
Still looking for that one love
That fits like a key in a lock,
That perfect embrace,
Head to toe,
Heart to heart.

fb "It's complicated"

My Favorite Third-Party BlackBerry Apps

2010-03-02T15:07:00.001-05:00

My five favorite 3rd Party BlackBerry Apps:
• BerryWeather
• UberTwitter
• SplashID
• Beiks Bible Study
• QuickLaunch

Rounding out top 10 3rd party BB apps:
• MeterBerry
• Beiks Dictionary
• Google Maps
• Google Sync
• Vlingo

My least favorite BlackBerry app that I use the most:
• facebook

sent via UberTwitter
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/CedarEden/

Scenic: Adirondack Ponds and Wetlands

2010-02-21T15:14:00.000-05:00

Photo SlideShow - Plants and Animals: Adirondack Ponds and Wetlands

2010-02-18T22:08:00.003-05:00

La Rosa Espinosa

2010-02-17T01:33:00.001-05:00

Tu amor es una rosa,
Fragante y dulce,
Pétalos suaves calentado por el sol.
Pero es una rosa con espinas,
Afilada como una fría noche de invierno.
Tu abrazo es como esperar que la cuchillada.

Nunca más!
Mi corazón que ha atravesado por última vez.

Feliz día de San Valentín,
Perra con el corazón frío.

Mall wha?

2010-02-12T10:04:00.001-05:00

I'm having a hard time coming to grips with a global society centered around shopping malls. They espouse and promote global consumerism. Meanwhile, poverty reigns the world over.

I can't reconcile in my mind the amount of retail shops along any miracle mile, within any regional mall, and cumulatively around the world with the population of the city, region, nation and globe.

I am dismayed that growth, not only in wealthy nations but in developing nations as well, requires near rampant consumerism and consumer spending.

It's a dog's world

2010-02-09T10:53:00.001-05:00

What do dogs think of people, when we speak to them, or when we look into each others eyes? What is the bond of dog to man?

Although we consider our pets as family members, I don't much go for the "pack" theory. Surely they know we aren't like them. And surely, too, the connection shared is not an anthropomorphic illusion, but a connection of heart & soul at some level.

Last night, I looked into the eyes of my old dog, Bruiser, who is approaching 14 years of age as well as death. He was particularly lame, tripping on falling while trying to step onto his cushioned bed. And in his eyes, cloudy and pale with age, I saw deep weariness.

On the other end of the spectrum, I was eye to eye with young Sadie as I went down the stairs to the woodstove, and again when I climbed back up. And I saw youthful exuberance.

And, in both sets of eyes, I saw love.

Dogs, humble servants, dispensing agape - sounds like they are better Christians than most of their human companions.

Reflections on the VW Bug - Greatest Car Ever

2010-02-08T17:33:00.000-05:00

We called them Beetles, or more often, a Bug. I know I really miss the real beetles (greatest car Everrrr!). So many memories. It was one of my first cars, and in the end I drove 3 or 4, although I may have only owned 1 or 2 outright. When I was a tween, my mom drove a '69 Beetle and it had the coolest back bumper. The stock bumper was cooler than anything you might fabricate. It was tubular, man. As a newbie driver (newbie LEGAL driver, since I started sneaking a bug out onto the back roads of Gilmanton NH at 14), I wrapped one around a tree, which moved the passenger front tire back several feet. While I sustained a sprained wrist and bloody nose, it was my parent's car (oops). I custom painted one lime green with long, black "eyes" on front hood (they came with two long indents in hood, for support I guess, seperated by 3 or 4 inch band of metal). My best bud Sheldon had an international orange Carmen Gia, the only thing as cool (maybe cooler, Buddy) as my lime green bug. For whatever reason, most of my beetles were green and two were lime green, including the one I painted myself. My last bug was fuel-injected and I replaced the injectors myself.

On all the bugs, you had to have a learned touch to route the foil & cardboard pipes inside engine compartment without crushing or destroying ends to get heat. Great in the snow, great on gas, made a wonderfully unmistakeable put-put sort of sound like no other engine on planet (I'd love an mp3 of THAT!).

I taught at least one of my older sisters to drive stick in a bug. Like a Sensei , I worked them through progressively harder steps. They were ready to solo when they could stop on a steep hill, and take off from that position. Made the mistake of putting my gf in drivers seat once - she had never driven stick and she just took right off - at least until she needed to shift into second! Very drunk from Oktober Fest had to direct my designated driver so we could get home and she had never driven stick. My last bug was retired when the under-front got so rusted that no one would fix it for me.

I think I'm going to go out and find me one to fix up.

Free Range Chicken performance

2010-02-08T13:59:00.000-05:00

Here is a rough video of me performing Free Range Chicken!

Free Range Chicken

2010-02-06T16:14:00.001-05:00

Free Range Chicken
(words & music copyright Michael R. Martin)
I'll record it soon - it only sound like I'm saying dirty words when I sing it

Out in the Road see the free range chickens
Clucking and picking, scratching and scritching
Can't catch a bug then they're out of luck,
but I'd rather be a chicken than a duck

In the tall grass see the buffalo toad
Hopping and blinking and sitting kinda low
Can't catch a worm and she's out of luck
but I'd rather be a toad than a duck

     What in the heck do I have against ducks?
     I'll tell you right now I don't give a cluck
     Snapping turtle gonna snap you right up
     So I'd rather be a snapper than a duck

Down bu the lake see the big bull frog
Resting his legs on a hollow log
Can't catch a fly then he's out of luck
But I'd rather be a frog than a duck

Down on the farm see a horse and cow
I think you know where I'm going by now
Can't eat some grass then they're out of luck
But I'd rather be a grazer than a duck

     What in the heck do I have against ducks?
     I'll tell you right now I don't give a cluck
     Largemouth bass gonna eat you right up
     So I'd rather be a bass than a duck

     What in the heck do I have against ducks?
     I'll tell you right now I don't give a cluck
     Outboard motor gonna chew you right up
     So I'd rather be a motor than a duck

Screw Life

2010-01-26T19:12:00.001-05:00

Some days I just want to say f*«screw»* life and love and everything • when the rotten in human nature outweighs the goodness. For most, it seems, rotten is easy, nice is an effort not exercised.

It is painful when friends reveal their true colors, especially when it comes, as it often does, during times of need, low points in life.

So, f*«screw»* life. And if the shoe fits, f*«screw»* you!

Snow Today

2010-01-19T15:49:00.001-05:00

On a day like today, Mother Nature can not be said to be spitting snow, for she is floating each white flake like goose down plucked from the softest pillows in heaven.

I remember as a child at my grandmother's house, spying the first tentative flakes and wondering and hoping that it was the start of a big snow storm. We didn't have forecasting and radar with instant access via the internet like we do now. It was always just a guess for us.

And those big snow storms were magical to me. I loved to watch the wind whip snow around the porch and shrubs. The swirling effect at night, around the floodlight on the barn, was hypnotic. It was like being on a great ship at sea as the briny spray whipped up over the bow and crashed down upon the heaving decks. Over and over, the great waves came. Over and over, the great snow swirled.

And when the great storms subsided, we'd be left with mountains of new white snow in which to build fort and fortress. I remember one winter the snows would eventually reach up to the roof, when windows and doors became openings at the end of long tunnels carved through the snow. When was that? Was it the winter of '66, returning from Iran, when the snowbanks in Gilmanton, NH were as deep as I was tall and then some?